Every Friends Joke

Monica has got a bad haircut from Phoebe. Instead of the "Demi Moore hair" she's got "Dudley Moore" ones. Now guys are sitting in the kitchen and teasing her about it.  Chandler : Come on, things could be worse.You could "get caught between the moon and New York City... I know it's crazy, but it's true." //////////////////////////////////////////// I know that is a quote from "Arthur's Theme (Best that you can do)" by Christopher Cross. But how is it related to Monica's hair I don't get. Do you?

What does the phrase 'stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance' mean? Chandler needs new pants made and asks friends for a contact of a good tailor. Joey raises a hand - yep, he has a tailor. Chandler feels all set. But Joey starts to share way too much of boring detail. Joey : He did my first suit when I was 15... No, wait, 16... No, excuse me, 15... All right, when was 1990? Chandler :  You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance! What is Q-Tip? What is the whole "You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance" expression is referring to?  Apparently the joke was among few that Matthew Perry, the actor who played Chandler has improvised on the set. Also that is the joke some websites say that Matthew is the most proud of. So let's try and get it! Q-Tip is a cotton swabs brand name. You know the ones you use to clean your ears after a bath. Q here stands of "Quality". Americans say "Q-tip" but often mean not a particular...

Monica realises that Chandler and Joey got new hair cuts. What Chandler confirms and praises Phoebe: - Yes, we did.  Thanks to Vidal Buffay. Phoebe (in that maden voice): - Because, you know, "If you don't look good, we don't look good." Who is Vidal Buffay? Why Phoebe gets this nickname? Why is the voice for "If you don't look good, we don't look good."?

Ross is coming back from his work trip in China. Rachel is meeting him at the airport. Ross is concerned with her forehead bleeding after the fall. But she goes: - Enough about me, Mr. Back From The Orient! What is "the Orient"? Why all the letters are capital? Is there some chrachter in the US culture who have had this nick-name? Or it is just her improvisation?

Joey is sharing his new level in bed experience. Chandler: - I didn't know you had another level. Joey: -I know. Neither did I! Chandler picks up a newspaper: - Is something going on with O.J.? What was that? Is this "O.J" related to the topic guys were discussing? Or Chandler simply wants a change of a subject?

Ross has found out that he needs to leave for China. But his son just got born. So he asks Monica to bring a picture of his to Ben and show it to him once in a while. Phoebe takes the picture and mocks Ross: - Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am The Head! I sense that it should mean something.

Monica just have found out that the guy she slept with is under 21 y.o. She is all upset because of all the age difference: - I'm like those women that you see with shiny guys named Chad. Why "Chad"? Is it like typical name for guys who are younger then there woman-partner?

Phoebe is looking for an extra job in a news paper. She is asking guys if they can see her operating a drill press. They want to to know why she needs a new job. Phoebe: - For short-term work. Till I get back my massage clients. Chandler: - Pirates again? What was this "Pirates comment" in reference to? It is just a very first minutes of the episode, so I am sure all the clues are in that very scene. But I still don't get it.

Who is Holden McGroin? Joey looks for a new stage name. Over the episode Joey tries many of them on. By the end Joey appears on a stage introducing himself with a name that gets lots of laughter from the audience. Joey: Holden McGroin. Who is Holden McGroin? And why is Joey taking that name funny?

Rachel is running into Ross's apt where everybody have already gathered for poker, with words: - Hi. Guys, guess what? Chandler trys to guess: - The fifth dentist caved, and now they're all recommending Trident? Trident is a gum. What is the story with a 5th dantist?

Girls have lost a poker game to guys. They want to have a rematch. Ross jokes that he is just happy to use any extra cash. Rachel is trying to bug him about it: - So you get your ya-yas by taking money from your friends. Ross: -Yeah. Chandler comments: - Yes, and I get my ya-yas from IKEA. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost less. Obviously Rachel and Chandler are talking about different "yay-yas". But what are they in those cases? The official dictionary has no clue. The Urban one has too many definitions...

Guys are teaching girls how to play poker. Monica has lost the game, she is upset. Chandler is trying to explain what was her mistake: - Joey had two fives showing, so for you to raise was... Monica: - Yes? Chandler: - Downright gutsy. What did Chandler mean by "Downright gutsy"? Is that some poker term maybe?

Girls are having a couple of "cute doctors" over. There are that uncomfortable situation where Rachel have to pretend to be Monica and vice versa. And here they start pick on each other. Guys are trying to go into the food dicussion instead: - This hummus is great. God bless the chickpea. Monica out of the blue: - Oh, God! I am so spoiled!.. That's it. Was there anything meant by that? Did I miss something in this "chickpea" phrase? Or it is just a phrase she could use with any possible remark?

Joey is planning to celebrate Phoebe and Ursula's BDay with the last one. And he asks guys if Phoebe is going to be alright with it. But Chandler doubts: - If you tried that on my birthday... ...you'd be staring at the business end of a hissy fit. What is this expression "staring at the end of a hissy fit" mean?

Ross just have realized that he is gonna be a father. Now he is is sharing with the guys a bad dream he had last night. It is about him playing football with his baby, where baby is a ball and how he(Ross) "heaves it downfield". Here Chandler exclaims: -What are you, crazy? That's a baby! And Joey goes: -He should take the sack? After which audience is laughing for a long time and I have no clue why. That " take the sack " is probably this specific term in American Football. Could you explain?

Here is Joey in love with Phoebe's sister. Rachel: - Are you seeing her again? Joey: - Yep, lce Capades. Chandler: - This is serious. I've never known you to pay for any kind of "capade". Two questions. What is exactly an "Ice Capade"? And what is Chandler mocking about when he says his line about Joey not paying for "any kind of "capade"?

Monica reprimands Chandler for keeping at work cute, but stupid girl: - I'll take "idiots in the Workplace" for 200, Alex. It is obviously a quot. Of what?

Joey wants to know how the yesterday Ross's date went after his(Joey's) dirty talking classes. Ross is bragging: -I was unbelievable... I was the James Michener of dirty talk. Who is James Michener? And how is he related to to the dirty talking?

Monica is upset that the stoned owner of the restaurant couldn't appreciate all the food-samples she cooked for him another night. Monica : So I told him, "I'm sorry. That's how I feel." And he told me I harsh-ed his buzz. /////////////////////////////////////////////////// What does the "harsh-ed his buzz" mean?

That stoned owner of the restaurant is trying Monica 's dish samples and she comments : - These are rock shrimp ravioli in a cilantro ponzu sauce with just a touch of minced ... ( and before she finishes with introduction , the guy finished the food ) ... ginger . The guy : - Well , smack my ass and call me Judy ! What is that Judy - phrase about ? Is that only here to show that the guy is stoned and there is no chance for Monica 's cooking to be appriciated by him now . Or it is a common saying ?

Monica comes back from a meeting with a restaurant owner all excited about the place, where she might get a job: - He showed me where the restaurant's gonna be. It's not too big or too small. It's just right. Chandler: - Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? What is Chandler refering to?

Phoebe is telling Rachel that the guy she brought just have had a joint: - Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja. Rachel: - I'm with you, Cheech. Who is that Cheech and why is that connected with joints?

Chandler after Joey's "surprise double-date" ends up with Janice AGAIN. He doesn't know to dump her for a 3rd time in a row and he suffers being around her. So on the St. Valentine's day Janice comes to meet Chandler at the coffee house. Janice: -I brought you something. Chandler with the voice of hope: -Is it loaded? What does he mean by that? What could be "loaded" so everyone knows what he means here?

Joey is sharing with Chandler his thoughts about long distance relationships: - I was thinking about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.... After a pause, Chandler goes: - Are they end-to-end, or tall, like pancakes? What does it mean "end-to-end, or tall, like pancakes"?

Joey suggests Chandler and himself to bunk up, while guests are taking both of guys' rooms for a night. Chandler is not happy and as always can't help but comments: - Oh, bunking up. If you smell s'mores, don't be alarmed. What are those "s'mores"? There is no such thing in a dictionary.

Guys are advising Ross to go and make his move on Rachel, while she just got angry with Paolo. Joey: - She's gotta know you' re everything he's not. You' re the anti-Paolo. Chandler supports: - My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You' re there for her. Why is Chandler stressing out the fact that Joey is his "Catholic friend"? Does it have anything to do with Joey mentioning "anti-Paolo" combination?

That is the episode where David appears for the first time. He retells the conversation he and his friend just have had to Phoebe. - I was saying you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. And he said that Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. I said I liked her in Splash, but not Wall Street. I thought she had a hard quality... What does the "hard quality" expression means?

Friends discussing the upcoming New Year party plans. And Chandler complains that he is sick always to look for lips to kiss by while the ball is going down and that: - I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. Who is Dick Clark and why Chandler feels that he is a repressed by him?

The friends are deciding how to spend the New Year. And here Chandler says: - I've got an idea. Dinner. Ross answers: - It's perfect. We'll put it between lunch and breakfast. And it seems that the way Ross is saying his line, that he mockes famouse charchter - Sherlock Holms. My guess maybe there are a movie where the phrase: "I've got an idea." is used a lot?

Joe's image on posters for free clinic (remember? "What Mario isn't telling you...") doesn't serve him very well. So he comes back to Monica's apt. to complain: - My entire family thinks I have VD. Chandler comments: - "Tonight, on a very special Blossom." What does this last qoute of Chandler mean?

Monica's 1st Thanksgiving as a host. She is only happy to make everyones dreams come true. And here she comes with Chandler's bag of holiday snacks, naming one after another: - Chandler, got your traditional holiday feast. Tomato soup, grilled-cheese fixings and a family-size bag of Funyuns. So I found out what tomato soup and Funyuns are, but I can't get what is "grilled-cheese fixings". What is it like? Google doesn't give me any picture!

Gang is sitting in the Coffee House, when Joey entres with a make up on his face. Chandler can't help but comments: - And this from the Cry for Help Department: Are you wearing makeup? What is that "Cry for Help Department". Is there common combination of such words as "cry for help"? And how is that then related to Joey's look?

It is a blackout in New York city. Monica is checking out the fridge: - Anybody hungry? We got a Klondike...soup. What is Klondike? And why is that "Klondike soup" is funny?

What is a dinkle? Joey plays Dr.Freud. Suddenly he rises and does a little dance and sing: Joey: All you want is a dinkle What you envy's a schwang A thing through which you can tinkle To play with or simply let hang Why is this dinkle-song funny?

The annoying lady in the laundry is trying to take Rachel's cart. But Rachel gets the courage to fight for it: - Let go! Come on, it's my cart. Listen, Mitzi, if you want it... After she sits inside the cart and continues: - ...you' re gonna have to take me with it! So what is "Mitzi"? This is obviously not the woman name in here. Is it an insult or something?

Girls are discussing their guys what would they be like as GUYS. And Rachel is commenting on Joe: - I think Joey's like a little kiddie ride. You just have to put the quarter in and it just goes. So what is that "kiddie ride"? Is that like those mechanic bulls on which you are trying to keep the balance?

Hospital. Ross gives Joey a strong enough push for his wheelchair ride, that he falls. Ross: - Now you're gonna be in a wheelchair the rest of your life, pally-wally... That moment a person which is in wheelchair for a reason comes in. Ross gets embarrassed and says: - I am so very sorry. Can I sign you? What is that last "Can i sign you?" line for?

The pizza-guy messed some Mr.G. Stephanopoulosthe's and girls' pizzas order. But Monica and Phoebe are seemed to be excited about the mistake. And asking the pizza-guy every detail about their neighbor. Monica: -Was he wearing a stunning blue suit? Phoebe: -And a power tie? So what is that "power tie"? Is it any different from a normal "tie" that men wear?

It is 20 th of October - Ross's and Carol's anniversary of them having sex for a 1st time. Ross is all broken, remembering every detail . Chandler and Joey are bored of it already. So they are walking down the street and Ross suddenly stops: - Peach pit. (sighs) Chandler goes: - Yes, bunny? What is that about?

Is "if I can invade Poland, there's nothing I can't do" a well-known phrase? Yesterday Rachel was a sad runaway bride and a failing daughter. Next morning Rachel beams with excitement and can't wait for her brand new life to begin. Rachel :  If I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do. Chandler :  I think it's, "If I can invade Poland, there's nothing I can't do." Why is it invading Poland supposed to make one all-mighty? 

What do the words Billy Don't Be a Hero supposed to mean? Ross has just gotten divorced and now misses Carol. Joey sees only Ross's personal drama as an opportunity to date more women. After some convincing Ross seems to like Joey's dating again idea. But Ross feels it was too long since he last was on a real date. And now Ross is afraid he has completely forgotten how to ask a girl out. Ross : Do you know how long it's been since I grabbed a spoon? Do the words, "Billy, don't be a hero", mean anything to you? What is this 'Billy, Don't Be a Hero' phrase? And how does it tell us, when Ross last dated?

Spelling words out with noodles? Is that a thing? Monica and Paul's date seems to be going pretty smoothly. They laugh, they trade stories. Paul even shares how hard his divorce was on him. But suddenly Paul pauses in the middle of the story and can't seem to go on. Monica is dying to know what is it Paul had in mind. Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh... Monica: What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?

What is Mento? Carol has moved out. Ross shares and shares his break up feelings with guys, while at his place. At some point it gets too much for Joey and Chandler. Chandler : You have to understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that's lasted longer than a Mento. What is Mento? And why Chandler refers to it?

Is A-Wondering any different from just Wondering ? Paul the wine guy has finally asked Monica out and now is on her doorstep. All of Monica's friends are in the apartment too though and they will not fail to have some fun at her expense. This friendly mockery overloads Monica's nervous system, who is already desperately trying to keep her excitement in check. Monica:   I'll be right back. I've just gotta go... (looking for word) Ross:  A-wandering? What is this “a-wandering”? How is it different from just “wandering”? And what does Ross’s joke tell us about Monica?

What does having some hormones mean? Ross is very upset that his lesbian wife has left him. Joey comes up with his strip-joints advice. Which is also followed by Joey:  Have some hormones! What is "have some hormones" phrase about? Is it some kind of idiom? Hormones Joey is referring to are called testosterone. In men, testosterone is thought to regulate sex drive (libido), muscle mass and yeah the production of sperm. Joey sees the only way to work through the hurt feelings over a woman is to numb them with more women. In the 90-ies it was a matter of a joke if a sensitive guy like Ross wanted to process his sadness differently. The advice itself  has a strange,  that is a bit hard to translate for my Russian ear. Yet there is a way to understand the joke. So there is a form of wishing things to a person one's talking to. Say you are scared to ask a guy you like out, your friend may tell you: - Have some courage! Say you are mad at kids for pointing and la...